From the horse’s mouth – natural coaching tip #3

Low attachment/high involvement is a sign of authenticity

“Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.” – Rumi.

When we give feedback, do we also expect the recipient to do something with it? We humans do much of the time. But horses, masters in the art of ruthlessly honest feedback, give us the information we need but make no demands on us to change. This makes them such great facilitators of learning.

We humans are multi-dimensional. According to some mystical teachers, only 10% of our reality is available to us via the conscious mind. And of that 10% we can recognise a part in us that can be judgmental, impatient, arrogant, controlling, manipulative, angry, depressed, etc, etc.

We call this the ego or false self. The ego values results over and above the learning, the life purpose of the person, their well-being and fulfilment.

In business, we feel under pressure to get increasing results. We hope coaching will help. But, paradoxically, pure, natural coaching comes from a place of neutrality and detachment. It does not care about the result, it cares about the person, it cares about learning.

Pressuring people to perform may increase short term results, but it always produces pressure. Pressure is not sustainable.

Authentic, natural leadership and coaching can only happen when we let go the pressure, relax, trust, respect and understand that there is much we do not need to understand.

Low attachment and high involvement with the process makes no judgment of mistakes - it welcomes them. It allows the natural process of learning to blossom. Ultimately, results become the best they can be towards the greatest result possible given who you all are and what you are dealing with.

Learning is sustainable. Facilitating this comes not from the ego, but through the ego from the true self.